Letting go for me has not been the easiest. I KNOW that letting go is necessary, but I'm afraid to sometimes, because honestly, I'm afraid of what will happen when I let go, when I take my hands off and allow Universe/The Divine God to take control. What if I'm abandoned or lost or other misfortune besets me?
Saturday I had the most vivid experience of letting go.
I went to the beach with my daughter and in the area where we met her friends, waves plummeted the rocks and water sprayed and roared. When we entered the ocean, I immediately felt the strong pull and then the equally strong push of the current. We took a few steps forward and waves crashed just past where we stood. I attempted to go even deeper, but a wave came towards me so I backed up. Although it crashed beyond where I stood, I felt the current pulling me out as the wave was receding. Suddenly a new wave crashed over me. I felt exhilarated, alive, yet hesitant to go any futher.
My daughter and I were laughing when an even bigger wave headed towards us. I braced myself, but its force surprised me and I lost my balance and fell. I knew I had to get up before the next wave came, but I was being dragged along the sand and just couldn't get up. My daughter saw what happened and extended her hand to me just as the next wave came. The wave knocked me completely down and her with me.
My head went underwater and as I tried to stand, it felt like a wall pushing against my body. At this very moment I realized that pushing and fighting my way up against this massive force was not going to help. So I let go, hoping the water would push me towards the shore. My legs scraped against the sand and I wasn't sure what the outcome would be, but I felt myself moving closer to the shore. I was trying to stand up, when I saw a lifeguard standing over me, his hand extended. I took his hand and EASILY stood up at the shoreline.
He warned me not to go further than the shore again. I nodded in agreement feeling like a little child and slightly embarrassed.
It wasn't until my quiet time the next morning, that I realized this adventure I had experienced at the beach was a demonstration, one that I could physically feel, hear, and taste, of what letting go means in my life. And here is what the lovely, beautiful voice of my inner being said:
"Everything you want is downstream. It's a strong, fast, current, but you are trying to move upstream against the current. It's hard and you're getting beat up and it hurts and you're tired. But you refuse to allow the stream to take you because you're scared of where you will end up. If you just LET GO and allow it to take you, you will end up exactly where you need to be. Let go of the oars and allow Universe/The Divine to take you in the direction of where everything you have asked for is."
So I ask you, are your arms tired from pushing against the current? Do you have blisters and feel weary but are determined to get to your destination? Then maybe it's time for you to let go .